Is it ever possible to have JUST a guy friend?
Talia Scatliff | Contributing Writer
Photo courtesy of dynamomagazine.com
No. Seriously, I’ve tried, but with no success. Ever. Well, not yet. Okay, so there might be some circumstances that it is possible but 99.9% of the time… it’s not.
I don’t know exactly why, but the answer is mostly just no. However, sometimes the world does work in weird ways… and it all works out having a guy as just a friend.
It is rarely okay to be friends with your boyfriend’s friends… That just doesn’t work out in most cases.
Guys that you think are just friends are never really just friends. Okay, unless they are homosexual, then they probably won’t ever be into you that way so you’re safe.
When I was with my last boyfriend, his roommate was someone that had totally creeped on me. Did you think that I could stay with my boyfriend and go on being his roommate’s friend? Umm, no. Totally could never get over the fact that he creeped on me over a period of 2 months prior to our relationship.
I have also had two instances where right after breaking up with my ex, his friends came forward. People who I thought were my friends and were telling me how I didn’t deserve my ex and should be with them… hahaha. Not much more to say about that.
Another guy that I thought was just a friend wasn’t. We had hung out for years and had nice coffee conversations… Once I broke up with my boyfriend, he admitted the feelings that he had towards me, and FAILED AT BEING JUST FRIENDS.
I don’t know what it is. I think these guys are just my friends, and then I see them out at the bar or something and they go ahead and grab my ass to say hi….?
Another guy who used to talk to me, came to me for advice and that I went to for advice…now I thought to myself that we have this great relationship (friendship kind) going on; I’m single and he has a girlfriend. All of a sudden, one day he gets in a fight with his girlfriend… Calls me… For advice you’re thinking… um, no. He asks to come over because he has nowhere to sleep…hmmm. Seriously he had like five male friends closer to his house… FAIL AGAIN. (Do not believe he wanted to sleep at my house just as friends!)
I just don’t think it’s possible. No way. I don’t even know what more to say. Just don’t try it. Not worth it. Lol. Be friends, but seriously, you will never have a straight guy friend just as close to you as a female friend. If they get too close, somewhere down the line they will try to make their move… Don’t agree with me? PROVE ME WRONG!
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9 Responses to Is it ever possible to have JUST a guy friend?
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Talia this is not the case for everyone. I have many “boy” friends and they have girlfriends but they just consider me as ” one of the guys”
I am going to have to agree. I have been on both sides of the situation. Recently I would hang out with this girl because I really did find her attractive. We would grab coffee and she would talk to me about her problems and vice versa but ultimately there was an ulterior motive. On the other hand this sweet girl I know who I really had no attraction too and legitimately saw her as “just a friend” (I know that seems contradictory but just keep reading). She was telling me about her problems with her fiancé and I thought she was confiding in me because I myself have been married and unfortunately divorced and that I might be able to offer her some insight into her problems. She has just decided to take a break from that relationship and ended up telling me that she has started to develop feelings for me. It is human nature for us as social animals to gravitate towards things that make us feel good rather that be intellectually stimulating, physically, or emotionally. It is this deep seeded nature that makes it impossible for the opposite sexes to be “just friends” due to one party eventually developing feelings for the other intentionally or unintentionally.
I think a guy can be friends with a girl especially if they are in a group setting. Feelings can complicate things but it isn’t impossible to just hang around girls the same as a group of guys do. Actually, sometimes it’s nice for a couple girls to hang out to make it a different group of people than the same old friends; provides a good change of pace.
The only way opposite sexes can be friends is if one or both don’t find each other attractive. Otherwise, there would be no reason not to date them. If you find someone funny, cool, great to hang out with and attractive, why wouldn’t you try to date them? Plain and simple, you would, or you would at least have feelings other than friendship for them.
Also, you can’t use “totally” and “creeped on” in an article and gain respect as a writer. Just saying…
I wrote an article that addresses the same topic, but with a little humor. It’s called, “Coffee Conversation Gone Wrong.” http://mattswaringim.com/blog/the-casual-coffee-hangout-gone-wrong/
Loved it! Awesome site as well, looks great!
I read your article, Matt and it’s pretty true! If you ever want to submit anything for the site, let me know. We could always use a guy’s perspective too.
I actually think it really depends on the girls. Some act really male and they might as well just fall in the guy friends category. I’m not talking about the typical girl here. Not about the one who is constantly worried with her appearance and her weight. I am sorry for that sentence. haha Haha, I mean it’s good for us that you care.
My point is: Very few girls really don’t seem to care and they can be friends…