“Do You Believe in Life After Love?”

“Do You Believe in Life After Love?”

Jason Wiese | Lindenlink Reporter

Suppose you have been through events similar to those of one of my previous posts, “The Break-
Up.” You have recently ended your relationship with your last boyfriend or girlfriend and you
are now faced with the question, “Where do we go from here?”

Many people have tried to be like Friends’ Ross and Rachel, How I Met Your Mother’s Ted
and Robin, or even Seinfeld’s Jerry and Elaine. These couples managed to stay friends after
dating each other. How is this possible? The obvious answer would be that they are all television
characters. However, despite the potential awkwardness of the situation, plenty of real life
former couples have managed to achieve this rarity. How is this really possible? Allow me to
explain:

First, the former paramours must consider what they still mean to each other. Sure, the romance
is gone, but is the love still there? It has been said that “It is better to have loved and lost than to
have never loved at all,” but if the love still remains after the relationship, that means that this
person is still special to you.

The two most important factors of staying friends come from before the relationship and from
the moment of the break-up. A good friendship establishes a familiar bond which not only makes
dating work, but also would make the friendship afterward successful.

The situation of the break-up is also crucial. If it was a mutual agreement the friendship has
potential. If not, there is much less of a chance. If one was hurt by the other’s fatal mistake, say
goodbye for good. In the event of the second scenario, it may take time for the heart-broken one
to accept what the relationship has become and it may take longer for them to accept what it
could turn into. Once they get over the break-up, if the love still remains, they will still be there
for you as long as you are there for them.

Stay close in contact. Conversation should come as naturally as it would with another friend. It is
easy to drift apart again by lack of communication. Whenever you first start spending time with
each other again, surround yourself with more friends. The strength in numbers helps lighten the
mood. Over time, hanging out alone with your ex will feel just as natural.

Occasionally, the friendship may still feel awkward, especially when you or your ex meets
someone new. It is important to support your ex’s new relationship. If you cannot be happy for
them, you will not be happy with yourself. Wish them the best. Give them advice if necessary.
Get to know their new love interest. However, I would not recommend double dating with an ex;
not yet, at least.

As long as you still deeply care for one another, the friendship will last. Sure, the romance is
gone, but if the love remains, that is a case to be cherished. It is usually best to continue being
their friend than to not be anything to them at all. It turns the break-up into something better: two
friends getting back together.