The Game


Jason Wiese | Lindenlink Reporter

How does one define “love” in today’s culture? How does one even find love? What should you do? What should you say to a person to get them to like you? Should you get their number and wait three days to talk to them? Should you talk to other people at the same time to get them jealous? Should you pretend that you do not value their existence to get them to notice them even more?

No. Absolutely not. However, these are things people do to attract dates. These methods have turned love into nothing more than a game. One must practice certain “strategies” to win a person over, while also having to “compete” against other “opponents” targeting a date with the same person. Some set goals to rack up as many “points” as possible by dating the most people, which of course does not go without opposing “players.”

Why is this? Why do many people believe that a strategic approach to dating is necessary? In fact, why do these strategies often work? “Players” will lead their “pawns” to believe that they are actually interested in them without revealing their true agenda. Once they have them right where they want them, they will continue to flirt with them while talking to other people at the same time and keep “racking up points.” It is beneficial to keep your options open, as long as you do not treat them as just an “option.”

Dating is for socializing, familiarizing, romancing, etc. The main purpose is to find a person with whom you get along with, you are happy with, and can be yourself around. When you take those three things out of the equation, you are left with a negative value.

Love is not something to be won; it is something to be found. Find a person you are interested in. Get their attention. See where it goes. There are no rules you have to follow. There are no opponents or points. If you did not “score”, do not take it as a loss, take it as destiny. You did not hit it off with that person because it was not meant to be. As the saying goes, “there are more fish in the sea.” But that does not mean you must use a certain type of “fishing strategy”. Just toss your line, let the lure sink, and wait for the right fish to hook on.

The best part of dating is when you do not have to date anymore. Finding that special someone is the reward one gets for suffering the injustices of the dating game and simply being themselves. To find love you do not need a strategy. Just be yourself. Dating is not a game and one should never treat it like one.